Update

Here is a quick little update on whether or not we got the home of our dreams...we didn't. She denied our offer because she was unable to cancel her contract with MDU that she had with her business. Because she still has the contract, she can't afford to move and sell her business for a few years so she removed her house from the market. I am so very frustrated as we fell in love with that home and are now put in the situation of having to look for another place to live. We will be headed down to the Dickinson area again this weekend to peruse the area some more. I know that we won't find a home we loved as much as we did that one, but hopefully we will find one that will work for a while. Maybe even one that we can learn to love after adding and subtracting things. I am not going to get excited about any of the houses like I did this last one because I have come to the conclusion that every time I get super excited about something it falls through and I am distraught for days. Maybe I just have to hate everything and then something that I love will come along. Who knows what will happen or where we will live in the months to come.

I will leave on a high note, Angela turned two months old yesterday on my cousin Tyrel's birthday. I hope he enjoyed his birthday a bit, even if he is in Basic, as I know Angela smiled and laughed for a good majority of the day...what fun we had playing. She is getting so big!

Sporting the 701 Crew Baby onesie from Mike and Angela Mathers

What a little "chunkabutt"

"Oooohhh....bright shiny light"

Dickinson Trip

Well we might have had a very successful trip this past weekend to Dickinson. Tyler got the job at Steffes working at their south shop and will be getting paid .50 cents more that what he is here in Fargo, with a great deal of benefits. They offered him 12 hours a year paid to be a volunteer fireman, full health/dental/vision, and he will work fifty hours a week with the opportunity to work as much as he would like. Which means that when he is cross with me, he can go in to work and make more money!! Haha. We looked at a few homes around the area and we fell in love with a home in New England. Tyler told me he figured I would love that one based solely on the deck, but there is so much more to love in this home. We put in an offer and the lady didn't accept the first offer we made, so we adjusted it today and we are still waiting on a response. We are supposed to have the offer go to the bank to be approved tomorrow, so we are expected to hear from our relator either late tonight or early tomorrow on whether the lady has accepted our offer. The only thing that is stopping her is that we asked to close on the 26th of September since Tyler has start work on the 29th. And she has no place to live and no job in the location that she was planning to move because she didn't figure her house would sell so quick (it was only on the market for two weeks). So if she is able to rent a place to live for a few months from some friends then she will accept our offer, but if she is unable to then we may be headed back this weekend to search some more. In the mean time, I have added a little slideshow of pictures from the house, if we get it I will make sure to update the pictures with what it looks like while we live in it.

Home Sweet Home

This weekend we are traveling to the Dickinson area to do two things, 1st Tyler has a job interview at Steffes (I don't know if I spelled that right) and 2ND to look at homes in the area that we are thinking about buying. There are a few that we have found online that we like a lot. We got a hold of Tyler's aunt Shirley Dukart from Home and Land Company and we are going to look at these homes on Friday as well. The two that we are really interested in are both in New England, one is in town and the other is a farm home seven miles south. Tyler really likes the farm home because it has the perfect amount of land for our dream home.
This farm home is $95,000, it's on 40 acres of land and it has a really nice Quonset for Tyler to use as a large garage. The garage on the land needs to be demolished and there are grain bins that are on the land that we don't get with the purchase but we have to put an egress and ingress to get to it. The inside has been updated a little bit but not much and there is still a ton of work to be done. This really would be a great home if we only wanted one kid 'cause it only has two working bedrooms. The other room is in the basement and we would have to finish the basement and put in egress windows before we could even think about using it. Still it would make a good home, we would just have to work REALLY hard and put A LOT of money into making it our perfect home.

I really like the home in town because I think it's a good buy for the amount we can afford and I think it would be a good home to raise a family in.This home has a nice big yard for Angela to play in that wouldn't need a lot of replanting. It has a good two stall garage for our vehicles and spot next to the garage for Tyler's impala plus an alley in the back for more room to park. The inside is completely remodeled and there are more bedrooms than we have furniture to fill. It's $89,000 with more square footage than the farm home and we wouldn't have to buy any appliances other than a washer and dryer. It's across the street from the school which is a perk. The down falls to this is that it doesn't have the big acres of land outside of town that we wanted, it might only have one bath(can't figure out if it's a type-o or not from the pictures), and it's not that far from the Women's prison in New England. Both homes have their high and low points, and Tyler and I can completely understand why each other likes the other house. We are looking at a bunch of others in Richardton and one in Dickinson. Our viewing on looking at homes in the smaller towns is that it may be more difficult to sell in later years so we want one in a smaller town that we can live in for years, maybe never move out of. If we end up living in Dickinson, we would only live there for a few years until we find something we can't live without in a smaller surrounding town.

I am so excited to go this weekend and possibly get things going, but I don't want to get my hopes up. We have a couple of loans out that we are in the process of getting rid of so that the approval for the home can go smoother. One of them however is a co-signed loan on a vehicle where the person is constantly late on payments. We've been struggling to get hold of them but they won't answer our phone calls and they have to be the one to file for a credit check with the bank to re-finance the loan and get it on their own. I just think they are too lazy to do such a think and it's making me really upset.

I am praying that everything will work itself out in time for us to hopefully move into a place we can call our own by October 1st. I am praying and I hope you will pray for us to that thinks work out the way we would like.

Motherhood

Before I was a Mom I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom - I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put them down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom - I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a Mom - I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.

Boo Boos and Bandaids

Angela had her two month check up today where she received her first shots since her HepB shot she was given while still in the hospital. We went in at 2:30 and I was instructed to give her baby Tylenol prior to the appointment to ease some of the discomfort after she gets the shots. But if I was her, nothing would have been able to ease my pain after getting stabbed with three needles that WERE NOT tiny by any means. I now know why babies and kids hate going to the doctors.

When we got there we had to sit in the waiting room for at least fifteen minutes, maybe even twenty. Then after entering the room, we were instructed to strip her down to her diaper so she could be weighed and measured. When you strip a baby naked, you expect them to be in a somewhat warm room....NOT HERE!! It was freezing, I am never cold and I was cold so I can only imagine how Angela was sitting in that room naked for so long. Then we had to wait for the Doctor to come in, but she wanted Angela naked for the examining so we couldn't get her dressed while we were waiting for another ten minutes. After she came in, the Doctor checked her lungs and heart, her eyes, her nose, her ears and then her mouth. It was at that point that Dr. Jones-Dees told me that Angela has thrush. THRUSH!!!! I can't believe that my little girl has the fungus that I told myself she would never get. But not only does she have it in her mouth, I have it on my boobs and after every feeding we have to give her medicine and we have to wash her Nuk everytime it leaves her mouth. That's quite a feet when you have an infant that can't exactly keep the tightest hold on her beloved Nuk.

After the Dr. Jones-Dees left, the nurse came in and gave her shots to her, and I have never heard a cry that loud and that horrifying. And now that we are home, the hardest part has hit...she is in pain because of the shots in her legs, she's struggling to eat because of the Thrush, she just wants to be comforted but it's almost always unsuccessful, and she's frustrated with all the new medicines that she has to be given. I have a feeling that these next few days are going to be the hardest I've ever had.

The facts from the hospitals' standings however is that she weighs 12 pounds 5 ounces, is 23" in length, and her head circumference is 15.25". A little different then what we received at WIC, but they are close enough.

Tee it Up

Tyler and I have recently picked up golfing in our spare time...what little we have. We went to the driving range a few times, with improvement each time mind you, but at $5 for a bucket of balls, we needed to find a more cost efficient way to learn our stance and swing. So Tyler has concocted a way for us to hit balls for free. We take one of the infamous white tarps that were hung around our wedding and hang it to the front of one of those fence things behind baseball diamonds. Then we stand about three feet in front of it, and swing. That way when we actually connect with the ball, it doesn't get too out of hand. Even though it's a little off kilter, it seems to be helping. With a little help from youtube, I have been able to understand how I am supposed to stand and swing. So with the little improvements that I have made in the past few outings to the park, I have found a great interest in golf. Our friends even come out every once in a while to give our clubs a wack and of course to hold baby Angela while Tyler and I swing away.Big Angela holding Baby Angela

She loves being outside.

Tyler and I have been trying to head out to the park at least every other day, and now that Grandma Micki (Nana Mimi) is here until Tuesday, we will possibly get out every day to hit some balls. That way the "Baby Hog" as Tyler calls her, can get her much needed time spent with her. She's already made sure to take Angela and change her diaper, feed her, snuggle her, and of course stare at her while she sleeps. And you know me, always taking pictures...I am "one of those moms" according to one of my friends, and because I am "one of those moms" here are more pictures to leave you with.Look at those lashes!

I'm amazed at how big her eyes are.

Life is so good.

Liquid Gold

Angela and I had our monthly WIC appointment today to get our checks and then attend the breastfeeding group that they offer. At last month's group meeting, Linda the leader hit it off with mom pretty well because they were both experiencing being a Grandma for the first time and only days apart. Linda remembered Angela and I today when we got there and I was very impressed with that.

While your getting your checks, if you would like them to they will weigh and measure your child so that you can see that they are getting sufficient nutrition. Since I am impatient and didn't want to wait until Friday when Angela has her two month appointment, I asked to have her measured and weighed. OH....MY...GOSH. I knew that breast milk was good, but I didn't know that Angela would be in the 90% for height the 80% for weight and the 60% for head circumference because of it. She measured 23.5" for height, 12 pounds 1 oz, and her head was 15 1/4".

I am sometimes indifferent about these breastfeeding get together because they all seem a little too happy to be breastfeeding. We always start off talking about why we love to breastfeed and I sometimes find it hard to find an answer to that. I certainly enjoy being the only one to feed her sometimes ('cause it means that when someone else is holding her, I get her back for that little while) but then I want Tyler to be more involved so that he feels like he is helping out adequately. I love the fact that it's free and I don't have to pay for it....oh wait, but I have to buy nursing shirts and bra's so the money goes there instead. I like the bonding time I get with her, other than the chapped nipples that I receive and the nail marks I have from her digging into my boobs. The enhanced breast size is a perk, other than the fact that I leak milk after a good let down and I'm struggling to fit into all my old clothes. I have so many perks to breastfeeding but at the same time there are so many struggles for me that don't seem to cross the minds of these other moms. Sometimes I wonder if since I'm not that fond of breastfeeding makes me a bad mom.

After our clinic today I picked up some pictures that I got developed from some film that I didn't really know what was on them. In our old camera, that Shawna helped me figure out at our photo session last week, there was some film and we snapped a few pictures of Angela on them, so here are those pictures. It's amazing how a good camera can take amazing photos once you know how to work it.This one is courtesy of Shawna Noel

As is this.

This one was me...what a difference huh?

Wash..Dry..Fold..Put away

I never realized how monotonous doing laundry can be. I've been doing my own laundry for at least ten years now and I don't think I've ever really paid attention to how long and how boring it is. Now incorporate feeding times that co-inside with diaper changes and my day is pretty much the same hour repeating itself.

I have been trying to get the laundry done so that I can pick up the house a little bit and possibly clean the bathrooms and vacuum before Grandma Micki comes to visit on Thursday. I am getting super excited for her to come, it's already been too long since she has seen our little gem. O.K. it really has not been that long since she's seen Angela but it sure seems like it with how much Angela's been growing. Today while doing laundry I compiled the first box of clothes that Angela's outgrown. I had fun putting different outfits on Angela to see if they fit, but Angela most certainly didn't like it.

The dryer has finished and I have many more loads to do before Angela wakes up to feed again...woops too late. Maybe I'll get the laundry done in the wee hours that I am awake tonight.

Blue Bell

Yesterday Angela experienced her first wedding. Our friends here in Fargo, Kacey and Joe were married at a little church in North Fargo that had no AC. Angela wore a beautiful blue dress that was size 3-6 months. I can't believe she can fit into that size at only six weeks old. Tyler worn the top half of his suite and I struggled changing into tons of different outfits trying to find one that would fit now. I never knew what a struggle it would be to wear my old clothes when my hips are different sizes now. Who knew huh? Anyways, Angela sat through the wedding without a peep...okay there were a few close calls but Tyler was quick with the Nuk. It wasn't until the end of the ceremony when Kacey and Joe were making their procession down the isle that Angela wept. I would like to think it was with happiness for them.
After the ceremony we enjoyed a nice meal catered by Space Aliens. It was here during the reception dinner that our friend Nichole held her first baby. During my baby shower here in Fargo, Nichole wrote me a piece of advice that said when I return to Williston, I can drop Angela off if we want to go out without the baby...that was after she admitted that she never touched a baby because she was scared she would break it. So this was a huge triumph for Nichole.I was very impressed as the Bride even took time out of her reception to sit down and cuddle with out little Blue Bell. I had to make sure to put a burp cloth on her to make sure she didn't receive a nice stain on her beautiful dress...but she was even willing to bottle feed her for a little while. That was until she was pulled away for the cake cutting. I don't think I have ever seen a bride do something like that, so I felt very blessed. It is a gorgeous Sunday, with the temperature hoovering around 73 degrees and the sun hiding behind the clouds. So our little family will be spending the rest of the day enjoying the weather, maybe by going for a walk or if we feel up to it, then we will go to the driving range again. Who knows what today will bring.

Sand Man

Six weeks ago if you asked me how I thought motherhood would be, I would not expect to say that it would be a roller coaster. My heart grows every day with the love that I have for her and then there are times that I am so frustrated with her fussiness that I want to just throw in the towel and give her back. It only takes a few minutes until I regain composure and I'm totally enthralled with her again.

I think the main reason that I get frustrated is because at six weeks old, she is struggling to sleep on her back. And I can't say that I am not at fault because I know that when late night feedings come around and I am falling asleep, as soon as she is ready to go back to sleep I lay her on my chest, kick back and we're both off into la-la land. However, I think I may have found the culprit yesterday.

We received a gift of pajamas that had the feet on them that were incredibly adorable and I couldn't resist putting her in them when it was a tad chilly yesterday. So after her morning bath, I put her in her jammies and laid her on her back, and she slept for three hours. She did that successfully throughout the day..with Mom making sure she was in warmer clothes. Then last night, we had one of the best nights that we have had since she was born. We got home from watching the opening ceremonies at Mike and Angie's at about 11:30 and after a quick change and feeding, we laid her on her back in the pack 'n play we have in our room. She slept there until 2:30 when she woke for a change and feeding. I made sure not to drift off to sleep and laid her back down in her pack 'n play where she again slept until 6:00. Again after a feeding she laid down and we woke this morning at 9. After six weeks of being home, I got to sleep a whole night in my bed with my husband and IT WAS AWESOME!!!!

I had always just figured that since she was so warm to the touch, that a single onesie would keep her at a sufficient temperature. But I am coming to the conclusion that the reason she wanted to just snuggle with us was because she was a tad chilled and needed the heat from our bodies to keep her warm. What can I say, we are new at this and are learning with time. But I don't think I am going to get my hopes up too high, I don't want to jinx myself.

This past week my favorite photographer stopped by on Wednesday for a photo session. It was so good to chat with her and get pictures of our doll baby and the family as a whole. To top it all off, Shawna was able to instruct me on the proper use of an older camera that I was given by my mother. She taught me things that I had no clue the camera was able to do (things I thought you could only do with photo software). I just hope that I am able to remember her pointers when I go to take a few snap shots.

Early last week sometime Tyler received a profit sharing bonus check that wasn't much but it was enough to splurge a little on something just for us. Tyler decided that he wanted to purchase a set of good golf clubs for the two of us so that we can go out golfing as a family. After the clubs arrived on Wednesday, our anticipation grew and we really wanted to go out and swing them to see how they felt. Especially since this would be the first time I would swing a golf club other than at putt-putt. So yesterday we ventured out to the driving range (I called it the shooting range to a few people by accident) and while I breastfed on the grass, Tyler hit a bucket of balls and when it came around to being my turn to hit, the rain that was predicted for the day decided to show up. So I turned in my bucket of balls for tokens that we used today. I have to admit that I do enjoy it, when I connect with the ball. I am in need of some lessons however because my stance and swing are very armature.

I should get going as we have a wedding to attend to tonight and I still need to do our little girl's laundry. I leave you with pictures that I have taken from this week. And I can't believe how big our girl is getting...she is holding her head up fairly well by herself and even sitting up on the couch by herself ( I think it helps that the cushions hug her in place). Enjoy.

What a way to sleep

All cozy in her swing.

Look how big I am!

And the half attempt at a smile....not quite though.

Nuk...lifesaver

This past week with my little Angela has taken a toll on my sanity. When we went to visit all of our family we told them that we had a perfect baby and had no real problems with her....we get home and that all changed. She has been what I call a snuggle bug, which means she refuses to let me put her down. She won't sleep on her back, only on her belly on my chest still and now there is no back time almost unless it's laying against my legs. Although it seems hilarious to Tyler and Angela, I didn't think it was very funny when I was peed on, pooped on and puked on all in ten minutes...then the little stinker after her bath peed and pooped on me all over again. Luckily I was able to capture a cute picture in the mean time. She cries for no apparent reason anymore, and it takes me forever to calm her down. After eating's she spits up way more than she ever has, and to top it all off she completely has her nights and days mixed up.
Tyler's brother Tobi had the same thing going on with Amiah and when they went to their doctor, they were instructed to give her half a teaspoon of Mylanta to calm her tummy. We figured it couldn't hurt but the half a teaspoon looked like way to much for us so we cut that in half. We gave some to her for a little over a day...then that's when I decided that since she seemed to puke it up after words and she was still fussy, that I would wait and see what Dr. Jones-Dees thinks. The one thing I know that works is that every once in a while, she takes her Nuk pretty well, which gives me a little peace of mind. I was going crazy this week, not being able to shower/brush my teeth/use the bathroom in peace and also all of the crying that was intertwined in those activities. Tyler came home early from work on Friday to help out and he took care of her for a few hours while I got cleaned up, and did some cleaning around the house. It's amazing what two hours away from her, still in the same house, but doing something other than taking care of baby makes me feel better. Another way of brightening my day was a beautiful bouquet of flowers that my mother sent to me. She knows how to warm a room even when she's not here.We had to reschedule the photo session with Shawna because of some overlapping, but now we are getting our pictures taken on Wednesday. I am so excited, and that extra day gives me more time to get some cleaning done. We started packing this weekend and wow did we get far. There is still a great deal to pack, but we can hold off packing all that for a while as we still may need it. There is a great big pile of boxes in our garage now, so I am having to fight the rest of the tenants of the apartment building for parking spaces. Besides the packing and cleaning, I was also able to get out to watch Tyler play roller hockey on Thursday. It was nice to get out of the house for a little while, as I got to meet up with our friend Zach for a while, as he was passing through the FM area. I got to visit with my friend Joni for a little bit which is nice 'cause I only get to see her when we both go watch our hubbies play roller hockey. And little miss Angela got to meet Eva and Larry Carlsted, an unexpected but delightful experience. over the toys that I don't think she really understood, Tyler enjoyed his first showing of And today as Tyler and I unload the 90 lbs of groceries that we purchased, we watched Angela enjoy her Play mat that Nancy and the girls gave her. While we enjoyed her oohing and ahhingPocahontas, a movie that I don't think he greatly enjoyed. Anyways, we are relaxing the rest of the day, taking as many naps as possible so that I can continue to get through the nights with Angela.